i remember You once asked me, "if I call you, will you go?" i kept saying yes to You, thinking, that's the normal response others would give right? i mean, what, was i supposed to say no when i kept saying i wanted to be used? i never thought You'll send me though. there i was, having a spiritual life that fluctuates madly during the different seasons of my life. there were times i felt so dry i just wanted to give up. others, on a spiritual high i could just sing Your praises aloud and nothing mattered. but i realised now what it means to live for You, what it means to answer Your call wholeheartedly - despite and in spite of my situations, my emotions and my inadequacies, to know full well You're in control and continue to nurture and build the ones around me to live for You. i know now, that it takes more than time, it takes love, passion and that open heart to answer Your call. and as tiring as it may be, i just want to thank You, thank You for seeing the worth in me when i couldn't. thank You for never giving up on me even though there were times i was so close to giving up on You. thank You, for being You, for being the one true Love i could always count on.
even through this season, when i feel so down, when i feel so discouraged, so uncertain, so tired, i know You are here with me. i know when i'm ready to face my challenges, You'll be beside me and You'll say to me "take My hand, we'll walk through this together. remember, I always keep my promises - I will never leave you, nor forsake you." probably then, i'll be strong enough, brave enough and prepared to face my mountains and giants. perhaps then, most definitely, i'll conquer them.
& He saw me when He was on that cross;
love,
hannah
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