out of touch;

你最近还好吗？ :)

have been busy meting up with different people :) people that really make a difference in my life. monday was exceptionally a happyday for me. hanging with coregroup cell and besties really made my day. heheh!

sometimes, you drift along with your memories, where they take you, you follow. and i've lived so much, i miss my past. i miss my lost dreams, i miss my youth, i miss the days that have passed. not that i'm not happy where i am, but i just am missing the days have passed me by.

there are times i wish to be free, free from all sorts of commitments, to just breathe. it's so silly, isn't it? i have almost everything i could ask for, but something's missing. and i wish i knew what it was. but for now, i'll just have to live. time's not gonna stop anyway. sigh.

on a happier note..

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS! :D

God resurrects the dead;

back from leaders' camp and i was really blessed by it.

so many things that happened. God chose to reveal the condition of my heart, to dig up issues that i thought i was over it. all the hurts, and pain, i don't feel it anymore but God knows anyway. and He chooses to dig them out so thoroughly and reveal them through pjanice. strangely, i felt really betrayed. how could He choose to uncover things i've been through so long ago, got over them, and now, You just decide to make me deal with them again. how could You show my deepest secrets to someone i barely even know? from then on, i kept questioning why, i kept trying to understand why You would do that. and after making me go through the whole process of me, the only word You said was, rest. does that even make sense?! like.. seriously?

but now i know. now i know my choice to major in social work is affirmed. the need to deal with my own issues before i can minister to others. i stand in awe of You, and i choose to obey and walk in Your ways.

"don't ever give up on God, cause God will NEVER give up on you."

- Nick Vujicic

turn away;

sometimes, it's easier to just walk away, to pretend you don't hear the demands. funny how despite and inspite of everything, it all boils down to money.

i don't understand, and i probably never will. we're all flawed beings, on the brink, on the edge. we're all trying to live. but some of us, just the few of us, we're trying to make love work.

but it never does, i sincerely don't think it will.

to believe or not no longer holds weight. because i'll keep trying, again and again. getting hurt, again and again. loving someone, who probably never will love you back.

and it has to be okay.