twilight;

so i'm online discussing how much alcohol a bottle of vodka contains with samuel quek, OF ALL PEOPLE. -.- and i'm very sure it's not 40%. REALLY.

3 more days, and i guess, i won't be feeling all these dread for a new morning, and i'll finally be able to enjoy the day as it is, instead of wanting time to pass so quickly. but still, i'm really grateful for my bunch of colleagues, even though i do get pissed at them at times. still grateful though. :)

everybody's been telling me this is how the real world is, cruel, cold and everything that i described it to be. maybe part of me already knows that, already registered it to be so, but the other part of me searches for any sign of humanity left, any little tinge of compassion that everyone is supposed to have. sometimes i find myself being too naive, wanting too much of this world, because it has nothing it can offer me. but it's in this world i must learn to survive, it's in this world, that i must find my way through it. no one said it was gonna be easy, yet no one said it's impossible.

it's funny how every time i say i'm gonna stop believing in You, that i'm giving up on my faith. but the thing is, i never do. i continue talking to You, i continue to pray, and i continue to believe that i'm walking in the destiny You have for me. but that doesn't mean i don't feel tired, i don't go through dry seasons. that doesn't mean i don't runaway and i don't hide from You. Daddy, i'm tired. so close to giving up, not sure how long more i can do this, not sure how long more i wanna do this. still, You never let me forget there's hope, there's always hope. perhaps, just perhaps, i was named for this purpose.

it's like grasping the last straws and having them cut your hands till they bleed, but she still holds on to them, because she knows letting go would hurt even more. wounds heal, but death wouldn't, will never.

shallow; the lack of depth.

i wonder if you'll learn, if you'll grow to appreciate what you have. if for once, you'll just stop complaining. you've got all that you can ever ask for, and guess what, hell has just begun for you.