everything was going well. job and people were great. they make you smile and i was happy with them. thanking God for every single thing in my life. but things don't always go your way.
i had so much to tell you, so much i wanted to share with you at the end of the day. then that message came. i was shocked. felt like a tight slap in my face. a reminder i'm not allowed to be that happy. what right did i have? shouldn't be typing about this, too raw, too deep. not meant to be loved by anyone. vulnerable.
choked. but what i feared more was the constant urge to inflict pain. when will i be over this? 2 years should've been long enough.
tired emotionally.
words do lose their meaning.
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